bachelor party

Saturday was my long-awaited bachelor party.

My future father-in-law Jack invited me to lunch on Saturday afternoon, a couple hours before it was slated to start. We finished lunch and started walking to the car, when a group of masked men dressed in black approached us.

I thought it was a bit strange, thinking, "That looks like Barry."

Soon, they grabbed me and told me to get on the ground (I obeyed without too much of a struggle, according to my brother Justin, I was pretty weak and tried to hide behind Jack).

By the time I was on the ground, I was laughing like a mad man, hearing Justin's best kidnapper impression. When I took the mask off, I found myself on the floor of a limo-van with loud music and fourteen chanting dudes passing out cold beverages.

It was a rich experience, pulled off flawlessly by the guys and orchestrated perfectly by best man Bobby Cheeks, inspired by the movie "Old School." There's a few obscenities in the movie clip, but you can view Will Ferrell's kidnapping here.

(Tingley caught the whole real kidnapping on video, so stay tuned for that. Cheeks' also made his own video initiating the guys on the day's six objectives. Very clever.)

We arrived at our destination, the "Bounce Party," a large inflatable playground. We played for an hour and a half like grown men in McDonald's, having a blast collecting floor burns on our elbows, pretending like we were American Gladiators, and of course, hitting each other with objects.

After that, fifteen of us piled into a limo and went back to Cheeks' house to shower. They made a bachelor shirt for me with photos of my life, including this exploding fire photo from years past.

We traded our man smells for civilian scents, and piled back into the limo.

I was also fashioned with a ball and chain, with two handcuffs and an ankle brace, complete with a beach ball wrapped in duct tape.

(It is very clear on video that it has nothing to do with my view of marriage or my lovely wife-to-be Emily.) It was a joke.

We ate dinner at the Bob, where I was penalized for taking off the ball and chain to use the restroom. That was pricey.

After that, we headed upstairs to the comedy club, which was a ton of fun listening to three solid comedians. One of the comedians noticed the ball and chain, and we exchanged a bit of a public dialogue.

He asked how long we knew each other, and I said "11 months" for the whole relationship, to the applause of the crowd and a self-deprecating comment by the comedian. He also asked why I'm marrying her, and I simply said, "Because she's fantastic."

He gave me some licorice, we enjoyed the comics and headed back to Cheeks' house in the limo van, with a quick stop on the way. The rest of the night was hanging back at Cheeks' pad with cards and Wii and whatever...

It was an honor to be the recipient of such a crazy, amazing day with the guys, and I'm grateful for the strong friendships in my life. And if you ever have the chance to be kidnapped and tossed into a limo van by your good friends, savor it.

Thanks, Cheeks, Barr and the rest of the dudes for an epic send-off!