counting crows

The Counting Crows have been at the top of my list for bands to see for ages.

I've memorized almost all their songs religiously over the past fifteen years or so. A guy touring our studio told us they were playing at the not-so-glamorous Muskegon Summer Celebration on Tuesday, so we bought comp tickets on Craigslist and joined the carnival (literally) last night.

These guys are spot on, seasoned, eloquent musicians. The music was amazing.

When I was learning to play guitar and the Crows' music, I'd daydream about writing a letter to lead singer Adam Duritz about faith. His lyrics speak of a crumbling life, over and over again, searching for short term remedies. I identified with his sorrowful musings for periods of my formative years. Then I'd dream of what he'd sing about if he met God.

After researching the world of Wiki, I discovered Adam suffers from "a dissociative disorder, which makes the world seem like it's not real." How sad.

Last night, while intoxicated medleys of non-fans poured back beers and devoured cigarettes, enjoying noisy conversations while Adam was trying to explain his next song, I was able to zero in on one point. This, a paraphrase of Adam, of course:

"Being a musician, you have the ability to focus on one thing at the exclusion of everything else. Which is cool, because that's where great music comes froms," Adam begins.

"The only problem is that you focus on one thing at the exclusion of everything else," he adds.

It's as if he was holding his heart in his hands on stage. The dreadlocked rock star, whose "slept with movie stars," trekked around the world with money and fame, questioning everything he hasn't experienced in a more traditional path.

"But on the other hand, you get to be a rock star, so it's a toss up," he said, laughing a bit, triggering the band to move into the next song.

On top of it, there was a Detroit Red Wings player to the right of us in the crowd. When someone figured it out, an avalanche of people started asking him for autographs and photos, while the guy was just looking to listen to the Crows and drink a beer.

All across the world, we prey on people's fame and lust for things we can't have, yet where we're often shortsighted, is all the meaning we do possess.